Things Your Burglar Won't Tell You....
by law enforcement as relayed by actual burglars
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week
cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering
your new refrigerator.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was
working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I
unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... and
taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys
your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of
gaming system they have.
4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the
driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door
to see how long it takes you to remove it.
Form a Neighborhood Watch
Group. They can help you work with your neighbors to improve
security and reduce risk of burglary.
6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't
let your alarm company install the control pad where I can
see if it's set. That makes it too easy.
7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink.
And the windows on the second floor, which often access the
master bedroom-and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put
motion detectors up there too.
8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you
forget to lock your door-understandable. But understand
this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.
9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for
directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't
take me up on it.)
10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I
always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the
11. Helpful hint : I almost never go into kids' rooms.
12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into
that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not
bolted down, I'll take it with me.
13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the
best alarm system. If you're reluctant to leave your TV on
while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that
works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real
television. (Find it at faketv.com .)
14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like
a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever
look like a crook.
15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy
16. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little
noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop
what he's doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn't
hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's
17. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that
money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without
18. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs
that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems
I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at
night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page.
It's easier than you think to look up your address.
20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the
day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an
21. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door.
Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
22. If I am ambitious enough to invade your home while you
are there – you may want to consider “answering” my door
knock through the door – “Hello – who are you – no, I don’t
want any – go away or I’ll call the police” And I will go
away. So DO NOT OPEN IT! But if I hear your voice speaking
with me – I will move on to another home that may let me in!
23. Maybe I will work with someone claiming to sell magazine
subscriptions – I always know when someone is home or not –
by knocking on the door!
24. I look to see if your trash cans are put out on trash
day – or I’ll look to see if anyone has taken in the trash
cans by nightfall – a dead giveaway that no one is home!
25. Those car keys you left in the ignition or on the hook
in the garage – allows me to drive away from your house in
luxury with your property – and your car.
26. I love computer
laptops – easy to carry and easy to sell! But I fear that
you had enough gumption to install a locater program to
locate your laptop like – LoJack for Laptops, or if you have
an Apple computer, iPAD, iPHONE – Mobile Me!
27. I love homes that are not well lit! Or homes with
overgrown bush and shrubbery so I can hide if someone walks
or drives by. It allows me to hide!
Have adequate exterior lighting. A motion-sensitive light is
recommended for backyards.
28. And when I get rid of what I have stolen – I know that
hardly anyone keeps serial numbers or has engraved their ID
on anything anymore. Keep a detailed inventory of your
valuable possessions, including a description of the items,
date of purchase and original value, and serial numbers, and
keep a copy in a safe place away from home -- this is a good
precaution in case of fires or other disasters. Make a
photographic or video record of valuable objects, heirlooms
and antiques. Your insurance company can provide assistance
in making and keeping your inventory.
29. And I love neighborhoods where the neighbors do not talk
to one another – they have no idea what’s going on!
AND A BONUS FEATURE:
Protection for you and your home:
Put your car keys beside your bed at night
Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your
parents, your Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market,
everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to
get in your house, just press the panic button for your car.
The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to
sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.
Next time you come home for the night and you start to put
your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system
that you probably already have and requires no installation.
Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your
house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or
until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It
works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car
alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your
house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After
a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their
windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal
won't want that.
And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in
a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This
is something that should really be shared with everyone.
Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.
ADDITIONAL INFO: For those of you who would like a copy of
ALL the tips, please email: Sgt. Randy Hoffmaster at:
24792@LAPD.LACITY.ORG with YOUR
e-mail address and a copy will be e-mailed to you.